USF1

Will you buy a US(ed) F1 car from this man?

Boy, does he have a deal for you? Especially if you are a young American driver. “Shame on Formula One for not nurturing your talents”, he lambasted the system that brought you Senna, Schumacher, Clark and Fangio.

He will give you all the bells and whistles. Live TV-cameras to witness the creation of your Grand Prix gizmo. Best of all, he is going to do it “differently” than Ferrari and McLaren.

So differently he plans to have Danica perform the ’93 Donington miracle and Kyle Busch-whack Vettel.

The down payment on your deal is only $8m. Call your country’s tourism board for a journey into the far away la-la land. Sands of time are moving fast towards the Middle East for the season opener. The desert Kingdom of Bahrain has a paucity of precipitation, but this time it just might rain on his parade.

He did all the talk with his grid walk, now his silence is deafening, just like the oft-quoted “Skunk Works”. If the smell of rumors is true, the operation is Hurley-ing towards a no show and his F1 entry may be Balkanized to accommodate a Serbian entry.

Toast, but no extra shrimp on the barbie!

— Nasir Hameed